[ She tries so hard not to, to be serious and dry, to not let herself see beyond whatever is happening now. Tries now to keep her face stern up until he suggests a cave, then her head falls back laughing, shoving at him lightly. ]
No - no, I want a bed. Sheets. Where we won't be suddenly sharing with a soldier whose wondered in.
[ He hushes her with that, her hands settling on his shoulders, shifting that little to adjust underneath him. Didn't want to draw him into anything morose, not right now. ]
[ There's a light squeeze of her fingers into his shoulder. ]
I told you when we met, do you recall? I told you I worked out of a brothel. It was where my ah, rebellion, was based. The girls would call me their madam.
Well, I did toss the old one out for mistreating them. [ Not like she can ever help herself, apparently. ] And if patrons got too unruly I was usually the one to remove them... or Devi.
[ She pauses - opening her mouth and surely she has mentioned her? But no, she hasn't, has she? She never mentions anything if she can help it. Nothing important anyway, nothing so personal as what constitutes her family.
Good Lord, how does he put up with her, sometimes? But she supposed he had less of a time prying it from her than most. He made it shockingly easy to simply talk. ]
She is... a daughter of sorts. What remains of my - durgavasi - my guardswomen, that rode with me most of my life. The heir now, to my fight. When it's a little too... public for myself given the... laws, she is the one that stands in my place. [ And like any mother, she clucks, her fingers threading her fingers through his hair in the same idle way. ] Stubborn, far too inclined to throw herself in the way of danger. She rips my heart from my chest almost daily. I swear she punishes me that way for daring to worry.
[ She'll sew her mouth shut, one day, fix him then. ]
It isn't that always the way? Inclined to die for our people and someone to remind us that someone needs us alive.
[ She closes her eyes - and more than anything, this is what she wants, what she wanted to give him. Shared warmth, quiet words that feel as soft as forgiveness. ] Did yours keep your feet on the ground too?
[ She draws her fingers against him, against the curve of his mouth, the edge of it. Not to make him look up at her, just to share in that affection. ]
[ She groans at the thought of managing that. No, no, perhaps she should be grateful she cannot get with child. Having a smaller version of him running around with a child's utter lack of fear would be a nightmare. ]
At least you are little enough to be picked up, then, it's the great consolation with children.
[ She keeps her face as straight as possible like the thought hadn't occured to even once. ] Perish the thought, my lord.
[ Her grin is sly, brief, then as she thinks on it. ] If it is any consolation to you, as I was before -? It would have been at my limit, but I think I could have managed to carry Maine.
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No - no, I want a bed. Sheets. Where we won't be suddenly sharing with a soldier whose wondered in.
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We could give up utterly and find a brothel. They hardly ever care when there's coin for the expense. Then we could give up on any sort of reputation.
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Let's leave that as a last resort, perhaps.
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What's this, a Lord that isn't comfortable in a brothel?
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[ The reasons for which are entirely too complicated to tease away, but he can start with the simplest one. ]
I'd always felt - like I'd be imposing, for starters.
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Well, now you have a brothel madam to yourself.
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That I don't quite believe.
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I told you when we met, do you recall? I told you I worked out of a brothel. It was where my ah, rebellion, was based. The girls would call me their madam.
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I'd say that makes you a rebel leader more than a madam.
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Well, I did toss the old one out for mistreating them. [ Not like she can ever help herself, apparently. ] And if patrons got too unruly I was usually the one to remove them... or Devi.
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Who was Devi?
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Good Lord, how does he put up with her, sometimes? But she supposed he had less of a time prying it from her than most. He made it shockingly easy to simply talk. ]
She is... a daughter of sorts. What remains of my - durgavasi - my guardswomen, that rode with me most of my life. The heir now, to my fight. When it's a little too... public for myself given the... laws, she is the one that stands in my place. [ And like any mother, she clucks, her fingers threading her fingers through his hair in the same idle way. ] Stubborn, far too inclined to throw herself in the way of danger. She rips my heart from my chest almost daily. I swear she punishes me that way for daring to worry.
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Ah, much like an armsman then. I think I know a Devi already.
[ Well, with the relationships flipped. Bothari had been closer to a father figure. ]
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It isn't that always the way? Inclined to die for our people and someone to remind us that someone needs us alive.
[ She closes her eyes - and more than anything, this is what she wants, what she wanted to give him. Shared warmth, quiet words that feel as soft as forgiveness. ] Did yours keep your feet on the ground too?
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Indeed. Or flew to my side when I needed protection. [ His voice lowers to a murmur. ] He's protected me from my grandfather since before I was born.
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Tell me of who I should be so grateful too?
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Konstantin Bothari. My bodyguard of many years.
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I take it some of his guarding often meant playing nursemaid?
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[ Bright as he is now, bright as he would be then. ]
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At least you are little enough to be picked up, then, it's the great consolation with children.
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[ Her grin is sly, brief, then as she thinks on it. ] If it is any consolation to you, as I was before -? It would have been at my limit, but I think I could have managed to carry Maine.
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