FADE RIFT [INBOX]

[shri]

ＬＡＤＹ ＬＡＫＳＨＭＩ
( Lady Lakshmi, Bai Saheba, Rani Lakshmibai )

ＶＯＩＣＥ | ＡＣＴＩＯＮ | ＮＯＴＥＳ

Unavaliable To All:

• 30mins around dawn
  
  Only to Voice:
  
• Hour training morning and evening
  
• Any time she's gone riding.
  
• When she's in the field.
  
  Only to Book:
  
• When she's otherwise in a meeting, leave a message.
  
• Very late at night or early in the morning.
  
  Other:
  
• She usually takes her morning meals in the mess hall with everyone else.
  
• Her days are usually spent in Kirkwall seeing to either her personal business or Inquisition tasks.
  
• She has a bath twice a day, every day.
  

Comments

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty frowns disapprovingly at all those sentiments. ]

Well, I've heard plenty of that sort of sentiment before. Oh, Kitty, you'll calm down once you have a job and a household of your own. You'll give up all these silly notions once you understand real responsibility. As though I haven't been paying my own bills for the past two years. So, what, is that adulthood, then? Cutting out a piece of yourself? Crushing down your real dreams?

[shri]

[ She has no good answer to that when it comes. Only things that hurt, only memories that ache with regret of the things she had to give up. Of sons, of a daughter. Of fortress and the desert soaked in blood. Oh what was all this fighting for? Mandu spilling blood and apologies, Arnand hanging onto her leg, wailing his fear. The loudness of canons that beat against stone until the ground shook like Shiva himself had come down from the mountain. How her fingers ached from holding onto her swords. How her lungs had filled with dust. How many bodies had she not been able to tend too like a daughter, mother, queen, should?

Instead, she falls silent. Too old for this, too caught up in the facade to be able to speak freely as she wants. So she takes the easier option for the first moment. Not half so stubborn, just thoughtful, caught up in forcing her breath and hands steady where they grip. ] Turn to the left. Gentle. A little tug ought to do it, but make sure you hold steady with your knees -

[ Knows now that silence won't be a decent refuge, not as if Kitty had a respect for it. Not half so different to raising Devi, she supposed, young and furious and in utter refusal to ever step back. ] I do not know how that might go. My life was decided very young. I was married at thirteen. Queen in the same moment. Even in my personal happiness, learning swords, riding horses, having my own children, it was always through the lens of what was best for the thousands of lives that depended on my choices. Perhaps that makes me the least able to answer that question. But I know I have spent a great many moments of my life wondering on them, the hopes I had, that it would not have been better if I had thrown myself to flames when my husband died, rather than decide upon the course I have ended upon. For that single action caused so much suffering that I had only wanted to end. [ But for all she talks, she doesn't let it choke her, doesn't let them come up anything but steady, measured, even. Neither raising her voice in anger or letting it wallow. A lesson like how to steer the horse. ] Dreams cost your body, mind and soul wholly. But worse - is knowing what they will cost those around you. [ She wets her lips. Old, old, could Kitty hear her bones creak? Were they straining under the weight of the knowledge that it might be better a martyr than living this life? Doubt came with time, she knew, Sir Bors had warned her. If she was to be better than the Knights who had been corrupted in their purpose, it must be to always listen to the doubt. ]

I hope when you must make those choices, that they don't come with such blood.

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty's quiet a long moment. Finally, rather than responding directly, she asks: ]

What was the course you ended on?

[shri]

[ Tired, inevitable. ] War.

[rathercommon]

Against what?

[shri]

The United India Corporation, the British Empire, Queen Victoria herself and every lycan and vampire that came to feast on my people like cattle, while their masters grew fat off the blood of our suffering.

[ The damn world she means, all of it. She'd tear it all to pieces. But what was the British Empire to most people here? Mattered as much as Jhansi ki Rani did. ]

[rathercommon]

[ The British Empire. It occurs to Kitty, suddenly, that she's quite far from everything else and everyone else. She's not unarmed, no, but up here on the horse, with the lady so close behind her, her knives aren't readily accessible. Which didn't seem like a problem until that phrase came from her mouth - the British Empire - because, guess what, in this whole world there's a single representative of the British Empire, and Kathleen Jones is it. And if Lakshmi's feeling a little frustrated, like she'd like a little bit of vengeance in miniature -

Kitty responds quickly. ]

I haven't got any love for the British government, either, believe me.

[ Please believe me. ]

Nor for vampires or werewolves.

[shri]

[and unbeknownst to all Kitty's worry Lakshmi just huffs a bit of laughter and carries on. ]

I did not think so. If I thought you were a half-breed, you'd already be dead. As for the rest - [ a shrug. ] What good is blaming the child for the parents' action? I would never hold you accountable for your rulers. As you say, we know quite different times, and I know you only a little, true enough, but I know my enemy for who they are. You are not it.

[rathercommon]

Mm.

[ Okay. She relaxes a little bit - though she's certainly going to be very aware of any sudden movements that Lakshmi might be making going forward. ]

So that was your goal, then? Independence for - India, right?

[shri]

It was. Until I realised that would not be enough. How could it be right to free my home and leave others to suffer in my wake?

[ Firm, decided, a long time ago. It would be everything, it would be all, or it would be death. ]

No, that is not good enough. I will not let it be good enough.

[rathercommon]

[ Oh. ]

Then what is good enough?

[shri]

When the British Empire is abolished and the monarchy with it. When the people of those lands might speak and decide their fates for themselves.

[ She nudges the horse along further. ]

I tell you this in good faith, I trust you know after what we spoke of why such things must... remain amongst ourselves.

[rathercommon]

Mm.

[ You don't even know the half of it. She could tell her own story, she supposes, but...Even holding these secrets of Lakshmi's, it still seems dangerous to do so. ]

Then - d'you want to do that here? Fight against monarchies?

[shri]

[ A pause, a breath - ] I don't know. In either case, they seem secondary a concern to this... Corypheus they all speak of. [ Even she can see the sense in that. ] But I do intend to do what I can, to ensure our safety, and whatever else that might fall in our way. I will not pretend I am other than what I am, simply because I fell through the sky.

[rathercommon]

Our safety?

[ Who is we to Lakshmi? ]

[shri]

[ She blinks, utterly confused. Frowning at her mildly for it. ]

Who do you think I mean? [ Really, Kitty? ]

[rathercommon]

[ A small shrug. ]

Your countrymen aren't here. Are they?

[shri]

I see one right in front of me, [ her eyebrows lift. So there. ]

[rathercommon]

[ Baffled - ]

What - because we're both Rifters?

[shri]

[ So, very, very, helpfully, down right cheerful. ]

If you like.

[rathercommon]

That's not an answer.

[shri]

[ Kitty.



Kitty.



You should now know what she is about to say. ]

Strange, just like you still have not given me a reason why you should not apologise to the horse. I am still waiting.

[rathercommon]

[ Ugh. ]

I've given you plenty of reasons. You just didn't like 'em.

[shri]

[ MMMHM. ]

Because they are childish, for someone professing to be grown.

[rathercommon]

[ Sharply: ]

And who died and left you in charge of deciding what's childish and what's grown-up? Sorry, but you don't get to judge me. You haven't got any right.