shri: (Default)
lakshmi· ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟ ᴅɪsᴀsᴛᴇʀ · bai ([personal profile] shri) wrote2017-07-14 07:52 am

STATION 72 ; mental link









KALI
She Who is the Great Destroyer ; She Who wears a Garland of Skulls



LAKSHMI
She Who Believes in Truth ; She Who is the Mother



DRAUPADI
She who was Born of Fire Sacrafice;



DURGA
She Who is perpetually endeavouring to protect the weak and the poor and remove their misery.






wille: (- what it means)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-02 11:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ She allows herself the warm embrace for a moment before the recoil comes fast at the sound of should, this blade to the bone. Should and shouldn't. She isn't how she's supposed to be and whose fault is that? That there is a lack in her is something she knows all too well, and she holds fiercely to what hurts, because it is hers. ]

( Anyway -- I'm not made for it. It doesn't matter. )
wille: (+ softness)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-02 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She laughs, every bit good natured, and why not? It's just a scratch, it's nothing to worry about. ]

( Like I said, it doesn't matter. Are you really going "love conquers all" at me? After what you said? )
wille: (- slap)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-03 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Love is an act. This is a truth she has held to be self-evident. The words one uses define the window through which one views the universe and she knows the highest form of love is an act. Aishiteru is the promise to act upon love made permanent by the continued exercise of it, and Ai is a verb removed from the constraints of time. Will, forever, both these things are implied. Lakshmi asked her if she was ever in love, where Koi is a lesser and indulgent form of it. Koi is a force, a feeling, a state of mind. There is a world of difference between loving and being loved.

The long silence she allows to stretch since the admonition says more than whatever reply she deigns to give. ]


( If you've ever tried and failed to fix a broken mirror, Lakshmi, then you'll know what I mean. )
wille: (& first step)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-08 11:54 am (UTC)(link)
( It wasn't for him for sort out, it was mine.

He is kind to me when I least deserve it, and he tells me the truth that I need to hear. That's enough.
)
wille: (- there's no winning)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-08 02:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[ And there is a flinch, a tensing of the muscles, the potential for flight should another advance be made -- but it is this potential she takes and converts to stand her ground. She returns Lakshmi's surety with quiet defiance, and stays. ]

( No. You're going to tell me. )
wille: (- shame)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-09 02:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The hardest part of this is looking away. The vista captivates and absorbs her in, and for the briefest moment, she can almost believe in the reality and the reality it means to present. Such is the power of the mind. Her retreat is jerky, fumbling hands over curious eyes, her body and mind not quite agreeing on what she wants. ]

( No. No, stop it. It's nothing like that. I know who I am and how I've had to put myself together, and I know there's no beauty in it. But I'm here and I will go on. )

[ Then she thinks of how it must be so insulting, to have shown her such magnificence only to have it rejected. And she is so hungry still for approval. ]

( Let's just talk about something else. Like, I don't know, your husband. )
wille: (& plot)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-11 10:06 am (UTC)(link)
( There's strength in it. Something to admire and be proud of. Something worthy, sure. But beauty has nothing to do with it. )

[ Beauty is purity. This is the word she uses: Kirei. Innocence lost can never be regained. Mirrors can't be pieced together. The Japanese piece together their broken plates with gold, but they remain broken. ]

( Tell me about the time you knew you loved him. )
wille: (- idiot)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-22 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ As she says, not in looking at each other but in looking out.

Misato grasps these fragments greedily, eyes and ears wide open, but she maintains distance still. She holds to the edges of these photographs, listens to the voices from the room next door, reminds herself that it isn't her skin but Lakshmi's and those hands belong to another man's, so take care. These boundaries are important. Her self would be too porous otherwise.

Even so, she returns the favor. It is summer, the sky velvet black, the relentless clack clack clack of the fan doing nothing for the heat or the humidity, but it punctuates her whispered words against his neck, her rage against their enemies and her hopes for the future turning into vapor to form the slick layer of sweat on his and her skins. And he doesn't stop her, and he listens, and he says, You have everything you need. Go forward, don't hesitate. He is the one to witness her first flight, the one to fold away her wings for the next morning. It should've been enough. ]


( What was his name? ) [ And on the heels of that. ] ( What happened to him? )
wille: (& get in the robot)

[personal profile] wille 2017-10-28 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ She readily fills in the blanks. Survive, that is, he did not survive. A part of her rebels against this, wants to tell Lakshmi that it is not brave and honorable and manly of her husband to have lost hope so easily. There could be other children, right? There would be other sons. Giving up isn't an option and one carries on even with a broken heart. It is the only possible way.

When she swallows back all these words, it is for Lakshmi's sake. ]


( You lost a son and a husband in just one year. )

[ She can't resent her for this. ]

( Were you angry at him for leaving you too? )