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STATION 72 ; mental link
KALI She Who is the Great Destroyer ; She Who wears a Garland of Skulls | LAKSHMI She Who Believes in Truth ; She Who is the Mother |
DRAUPADI She who was Born of Fire Sacrafice; | DURGA She Who is perpetually endeavouring to protect the weak and the poor and remove their misery. |
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The other reason she isn't - is because that laughter would all too quickly become hysterical in its fear for them. Like all rage, it comes from a place of terror - that what had happened will be repeated and she will be left burying them too as she has so many others in their stubborn need for a compassion she does not understand in such a way. ]
( You are not like Elena. )
[ Thrown out first and hard - she does not know the comparison he makes. That much is clear to her. ]
( and I have given my -word-, Shiro, as a Queen. If I am not held by that, I am not held by anything. )
[ Even when it was to her own detriment. It might just be about getting what she wants, in the end, but she does it all the same. ]
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[He doesn't feel bad about that. It doesn't feel wrong to admit it. Part of him is even grateful for it. Grateful there's someone who knows, in part, what it is to feel that way. Fighting against what They Made You.]
[The earnestness, the honesty, continues. No, he doesn't know why the thought of Elena makes her so angry. He doesn't understand where she's coming from... but like when the Darkling had threatened to drag him down into dark water, into grief and called him mine... he wants to understand.]
(I didn't want to be... what I am now. What the Station and my enemies in my world made me. Neither does she.)
(We're doing the best we can... So -- I get it. I get her.)
[Breathing is steadying. Calming. He's still exhausted. Still run ragged by the angry symbiote power in his brain. But starting to unwind.]
(I know.)
(But why tell us to kill you? Any of us? If... you've given that word.)
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(Expediance.
He started, I finished. )
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[Exasperation, shoving aside the exhaustion. It makes no sense. Nothing he knows about Sam says that's even remotely logical.]
[Maybe some people say he cares too much about the man. But -- no, that doesn't make sense. Even with that taken into account... no.]
(And you shouldn't die for not seeing things the same way!)
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( I have been war with beings like Damon and Elena my whole life. I have seen thousands slaughter to that kind of hunger. He insists that they are better than that, and have every right to live.
This isn't about not thinking the same way. )
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[Maybe he understands too much of what Elena feels. Maybe that brief talk with her made him too eager for someone who knew where he was coming from.]
[But to do anything less feels like a betrayal.]
[We'll be okay, he'd said. Like a promise. We can do this.]
(Or because you can't agree on how... monsters... should be treated?)
[A monster like you--]
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What else do you not understand? )
[ She had quite enough of hearing these things said back to her where she cannot work out how she could be plainer in her own meaning. Yes, it is something she would die over, and if no one else could understand that she was not playing a game, that she was somehow unwilling to die over it - then she could be no plainer and was done attempting to explain it. ]
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[Tired, worn as he is, there isn't any way to hide the flicks of memory. Of Lance and Keith butting heads. Pidge threatening to leave, Hunk's flying hangups. Not monsters. None of them. They don't have a Galra in their midst, but...]
[But leading people meant working with them. No matter what they had in their heads. In their blood.]
(If... one of them were ... I would never throw them away, or throw myself away because of something they couldn't control.)
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So she takes those memories, she takes them in both hands, and does what she does best these days. These hands do not know how to do anything else but grip anymore, to the pommel of a blade, to the curl of a trigger. She takes his memories of his team like her own and she bathes them in the smoke of her burning city.
She takes them and it's so easy. She has seen stubborn boys, clever girls, she has seen what it looks like ( the putrid stench of stomach pile as the creature - vampire - she labels it, rips out flesh by tendrils, the way that vein on the inside of the leg when it's ripped off at the knee, keeps pushing out blood, that way that someone can't feel something, anything, once the shock sets in, and is that a mercy or a curse as the head rolls back and they're still alive as the eating begins ) afterwards. Of what those faces of everything he holds dear - will look afterwards.
Rani, please, please, it hurts, Rani - what's happening to me -
Of the screaming, the screaming, the screaming. They will scream, they will scream like he has never heard and he will be at fault, he will have failed them, just like she did. ]
( I assume you do not mean to insult me as you have just done. But I have lived long enough to know the prattling of idiots who cannot fathom the hell they have unleashed upon themselves. Ever speak to ignore my words again so profoundly again, Master Shiro, and I will presume you mean the insult this time. )
[ And she severs the link, like searing a thread, snapped in half. ]