[He sighs loudly, his chest rising and falling just as visibly. It's always like this with him. Always. He can't control his mind, can't control what he says, and what he's come to learn is that people prefer lies and shields to honesty and swords.
It's tiring. He's tired of needing to be extra cautious. Tired of fighting it out with everyone to deal with each other and work together. Tired of pretending they can't all see and feel everything.
He's only 32. He feels like he's aged two lifetimes. Days when he thinks it's better to accept defeat and surrender, instead of remaining resilient and fighting for what's left and what's to come.
Too many times has he seen the effects of grief denied. And it haunts him. Grief wasn't an emotion meant to be locked away. It was meant to be set out into the world.
Nyx does begin to rise. His intention hadn't been this, but when had his intentions ever really ended well? Not since he got here, at least, did he ever see his own intentions not take a turn for something painful and dark instead of sincere. He couldn't help it.
If only he could block out his emotions so easily.]
I'll tell you the same thing I told Noctis. You don't grieve, you don't give yourself the time, you'll hurt yourself and everyone else around you. I don't care what happened or what you did. Just know it'll start to swallow you whole.
[It almost sounds like he knows what he's talking about. The purples of his mind sink lower, into lilacs, glacial ultraviolent, flickers of black and blue. Even a fire sometimes wavers and starts to die down sometimes.]
no subject
It's tiring. He's tired of needing to be extra cautious. Tired of fighting it out with everyone to deal with each other and work together. Tired of pretending they can't all see and feel everything.
He's only 32. He feels like he's aged two lifetimes. Days when he thinks it's better to accept defeat and surrender, instead of remaining resilient and fighting for what's left and what's to come.
Too many times has he seen the effects of grief denied. And it haunts him. Grief wasn't an emotion meant to be locked away. It was meant to be set out into the world.
Nyx does begin to rise. His intention hadn't been this, but when had his intentions ever really ended well? Not since he got here, at least, did he ever see his own intentions not take a turn for something painful and dark instead of sincere. He couldn't help it.
If only he could block out his emotions so easily.]
I'll tell you the same thing I told Noctis. You don't grieve, you don't give yourself the time, you'll hurt yourself and everyone else around you. I don't care what happened or what you did. Just know it'll start to swallow you whole.
[It almost sounds like he knows what he's talking about. The purples of his mind sink lower, into lilacs, glacial ultraviolent, flickers of black and blue. Even a fire sometimes wavers and starts to die down sometimes.]